haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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