you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
