Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
