I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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