yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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