i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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