a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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