Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
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