is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
