doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
