I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Why can't burritos get me drunk
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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