I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
