I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
