we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
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