people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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