my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Girls should come with a carfax report
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
