Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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