glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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