hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
