I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
