I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
