i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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