I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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