Three words: puerto rican gang bang
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
it glows. i had to have it.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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