If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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