Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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