erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
