we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
