About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Randomize
