Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
