Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
