Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize
