That's intense
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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