I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Dignity is for republicans.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
