the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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