I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
