If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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