If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
