I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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