just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
