Can i not drive my cunt home
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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