We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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