I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
