So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I deserve this hangover.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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