cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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