..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
