We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize