you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
