I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
