My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
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