belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
