I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
