the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
