They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
