yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
