Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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