if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
