last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My dad just said "fuck circus"
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
