She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
