In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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