Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
