Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
