I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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