when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
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