I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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