I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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