I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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