I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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