Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
